Introduction: the problem, the research overview, the aim of project and influences The introduction of the report is inviting and provides a great summary into the methodology of the project. You could address – ‘how is this project personal to you?’ and ‘why are you excited by it?’
Existing projects and what is inspiring Really like how interlinked the existing projects are with your research and inspiration for your final project. I can tell you’ve really enjoyed your research of these and applied your knowledge to your outcome.
Research shaping the project There doesn’t seem to be a defining turning point or moment which reinforced your project idea – this section would really benefit from an example which mentions that ‘AHA’ moment (can be something that went well, something that didn’t, or even something someone said that got you thinking ‘what if?’)
Final project outline and media/methods I can see the final project right in front of me because it is described in such detail! It sounds brilliant and would be such an eye-opening experience for many no doubt.
Feedback: Overall you’re making excellent progress with this report and it just goes to show that even though we have approached sustainability in our projects, we’ve both researched in very different methods. The only thing I would suggest is to tie it all together – consider ‘why’ this interactive exhibit needs to be created but really go into detail and provide references to back up your statements. For example, why is it so important that people see how the city of York can be transformed and what is the call to action? What do you want your customers/visitors to do when they have visited your exhibit and why? (Perhaps it’s just to learn and isn’t a ‘evaluate/change your lifestyle’ type of exhibition, although it’s a possibility you’d like them to reconsider wasting water, littering in the city etc.?) I think this would be the final piece in your report jigsaw that would make me fully understand the overall purpose for the project. It might also help with creating branding too. Great work, and good luck!
Winnie
Introduction Like how you have jumped straight in with the message of mental health – keeps project right on focus, and that you explain your outcome.
Mission Statement I would suggest putting the last sentence in this section in front of the first, i.e. ‘make running fun again for people when it starts to get monotonous/tedious by bringing people from all walks of life together. A virtual toolkit can aid with individual fitness and improve mental health….’ etc etc. This way you have left this section on a positive note and I want to keep reading! Do you need a ‘vision’ and a ‘mission’ statement which seem similar – can these be combined to become one?
Target audience Really love this! Great to identify characters and personalities here which can link with your branding.
Competitor research Identifying other brands areas for improvement is going to benefit you when it comes to creating your app.
Marketing strategy/Business Model/SWOT/Customer journey map Can you include some visuals in this to make it a bit more less text-based? (I have seen Dan give this feedback too!)
Feedback: I can see overall there’s some bits you have left to put in on your business plan like a mood-board which would be really good insight. I’d be intrigued to see more images in this report, maybe a page of the branding – you could keep text to the minimum and perhaps just provide labels as proof that you have considered all of the report writing in your design developments i.e. changing the emotions on avatars makes them personified. They just need to link together to help the reader get insight to how your research has helped your design. Great project, and good luck!
Omar
Opp/Target Market Really like how you have refined your audience and got straight to the root of the problem.
Competition This is really important as you want Dasho to have that ‘edge’ over your competitors so it’s really good you have done this
Marketing Why specifically digital social media – what is the benefit over a website or print, and how is it relevant to the company? (Forward thinking, targeting your audience, demonstrates versatility etc.?)
Operations This bit sounds really interesting and I think would really help the reader visualise your concept better – look forward to seeing this being developed
Financial plan Do you need this section or would you benefit from going into more detail about the financing in the next section? I.e. perhaps really explore how you would advertise, recruit, and expand your network. Would you work with charities, start-ups, clients etc. to build and improve Dasho long term? How will you keep Dasho up to date and relevant in the design industry – who is going to give you these insights? Maybe case studies are required yearly as an analysis on the industry problems?
Feedback: Your business plan is really interesting and there seems to be a definite need for Dasho in the industry. A multi-faceted tool to aid with collaboration sounds really relevant and it would be in demand. I would suggest weaving in some references to back up your statements; what problems have occurred in the industry that this toolkit could prevent? Maybe this is through your experience – a deadline is missed or there were communication errors? It might be a simple introduction statement describing what went wrong and why. This would immediately grab my attention as I could relate as a reader. Also consider including visuals. There is a lot of text and I would love to see some concepts or data. The structure is well considered – just double check your layout as some lines have overlapped with text at the bottom of pages. Overall really exciting topic. Great work and good luck!
jesswhatley.design.blog 